Thursday, September 27, 2012

Two's Company, Three's a Seal!



I grew up at the base of a mountain. Between my house and the mountain was a large forest of dwarf oak and maple trees under a bluff.  Almost every spare minute of my childhood was spent down in those woods.  In those days there were no video games or VCR's or DVD's or even CD's.  If we wanted to watch a television show, you had to turn on the TV at the right time and watch it.  There were no DVR's to record your favorite shows when you were not there.  In fact, we never had a color television until my family moved away from the mountain to the country years later.

So what did I do for fun?  There was a big pack of us kids that would go into the forest under the bluff and build tree huts, hideouts, chase rabbits, pheasants, deer and anything else we could find.  One of my favorite memories was of finding a dead skunk and interring the smelly remains in a rival gang's hideout. Good times, I know.

We learned important things about life in those woods--the first being how to find your way out when it was time to go home.  My dad used to stand on the bluff overlooking the forest and whistle when it was time to go home. When you heard the whistle, it was time for dinner. There was a large power line tower in the middle of the woods that had been erected long before we made those woods our own.  The engineers that had put it in had cut their way into the forest and built the tower in the middle of the woods.  You always knew exactly where you were because of the tower.  If you got lost, you oriented on the tower and you quickly found your way back.

The second thing you learned in those woods was to look before you leaped because when the engineers built the power line, they cut their way into the forest to do it.  What they left behind was a narrow trail they used to get their equipment and materials into the woods--that and hundreds of dwarf oak trees that had been cut off about two inches above the ground -- just high enough to trip you up as you were bolting down the trail with a lungful of youthful air in your chest. Tripping and landing on hundreds of severed stumps was not the fun time you would think it is.  Dwarf oak trees are not very big around--only about an inch across. They probably get to be about ten feet high as their maximum height so when they are cut down, they leave a tiny little stump that hides in the weeds and grass and snatches at your tennis shoe when you least expect it. You trip and down you go and where there is one stump, there are more and they are sharp.

How many skinned knees did I get down there?  How much blood did I leave behind?

There were millions of things to do in the woods below the bluff but we always started off with the dead deer. The deer had gotten shot during hunting season but had escaped to bleed to death at the edge of the woods. Every time we would go into the forest, we would make a beeline to look at the rotting corpse.  We would carefully examine the legs, ribs, spine, head, mouth and teeth--preferably down wind.  The dead deer was a landmark--like the Eiffel Tower or the Grand Canyon or the tower.  You sniffed and you instantly knew where you were.  Like I wrote before, good times.

We were not the only gang to frequent the woods but we were the most successful judging by the number of tree huts and hideouts that we built. There was the tire hideout (named because of a flat tire that had somehow made its way into the forest), the cliff hideout, named because of the cliff at one end of the forest that we used to clamor around on, and the three maple trees hideout where three maples trees had grown together. Maple trees made excellent locations for building a hideout. They were strong and big and easy to pound nails into.

Building materials for hideouts were precious and we quickly learned to conceal our tracks and to build hideouts as far away from the trails as we could so that rival gangs would not grab our materials and use them for building their structures. Once we located another gang's hideout, we would sneak into their territory and grab the best materials and leave a surprise behind for them to find -- like the dead skunk or a spare dead deer (there were always lots of dead deer because of hunting season).  There was nothing better than scoring a perfect sheet of plywood and then sitting a deer at their table with a plate, glass and knife and the remains of a peanut and jelly sandwich. Once we even wired a dead skunk to their door so when they opened it, down swung the bloated skunk corpse and gave them a pleasant surprise. It only worked once but when it worked, it really worked!

So why do young boys love dead things so much? Being at the ocean here in San Carlos, Bryce immediately veers towards any remains on the beach.  The more "dead" it is, the more interesting it becomes.  His favorite thing to look at is dead crab remains--mostly because the claws remain mechanically intact. Even dead, they can still grab things and are loads of fun. The more it smells, the better. The last time we were here, he spent a good part of the week with a dead stingray like they were both extras in the movie Weekend at Bernies.  The stingray went on adventures. It played trucks and cars and built forts.  The skin was rubbery that it held up well to the rigors of playtime.

Ever morning here at San Carlos, we go for walks along the beach and Bryce would eagerly look for new prizes to take home.  On Wednesday, we found a dead adult seal on the beach and he had a blast. The seal was big -- about as long as I was tall and it weighed a lot more. The first thing we did was to make sure that the ocean wouldn't take the seal back by putting lots of rocks between the seal and the ocean. It was only after we were done that I realized we had just stranded a dead seal in front of someone's expensive beach house. Can you imagine arriving here for a week of rest and relaxation and not being able to go outside because there was a rotting seal at your door?

The good news is that just like the dead deer in the forest, we can always orient ourselves on the beach by the smell!


Can you read his lips?  I think he said, "wow!"



 

Bryce the conqueror!

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